Welcome one and all to the Last Door on the Left – a travel agency for the adventurous soul. Have you always wanted to see the world beyond the wardrobe? Longed to wait for the train at 9 ¾? Pined for tickets to hear Plava Laguna sing at Fhloston Paradise? Look no further.
My fearless friends and peerless patrons, welcome once more to your favourite neighbourhood space-time travel agency: the Last Door on the Left. After our last trip full of relaxing pastoral perambulations, we thought it might be fun to pick up the pace a little with a jaunt to New Mexico to spend some quality time with astrophysicist, Jane Foster, and her team, as they track down an Einstein-Rosen bridge (a rather rainbow-hued one, as it turns out) and try to discover what could be on the other side.
As one might expect, any tour involving an astrophysicist doing field work should naturally start at night, and the New Mexico desert, with its vast expanses of light-pollution-free starry sky, provides ample opportunity for checking out celestial bodies. That said, no amount of mathematical modelling can quite prepare you for the wild and tempestuous beauty of a worm-hole touching down in the shape of a jewel-toned tornado and depositing a deposed Nordic god in its wake.
Savvy Traveller Side Note #1: Wear your seatbelt. AT ALL TIMES. Travelling out into the desert in the middle of the night has associated risks. While every person researching Einstein-Rosen bridges isn’t likely to happen upon a recently demoted thunder god who was vigorously exiled from Asgard via Rainbow Bridge, we are visiting the one cosmologist who does. And by happen upon, we mean hit. With the van. Best to be buckled up.
Packing Pro-Tip #1: A good-quality camera. Even with all of the craziness surrounding a potential breakthrough in astrophysics and testy ex-god having a truly terrible day, we really recommend you do your best to take in some of the scenery. New Mexico at night offers some genuinely spectacular views of the heavenly bodies to photograph if you have a camera with variable shutter speed.
New Mexico isn’t just fun after dark, though. The desert may look empty at first glance, but the locals will come out of the woodwork for an old fashioned tailgate party! And nothing says ‘hey, let’s go check it out’ like an unidentified object flying out of the sky and creating a giant crater on landing. It makes a great place for a BBQ!
If you’re looking for more of the in-town experience, Izzy’s Diner is a must-try for breakfast. The food is good and plentiful, the regulars are friendly and talkative, and if you find the occasional gruff and loud-mouthed stranger from a (VERY) distant land who really doesn’t understand “la politesse”… well, everyone else is far too well-mannered to do anything but ignore it.
Packing Pro-Tip #2: Reusable travel mug. Not only is this a chic and environmentally responsible option for all your on-the-go caffeine emergencies, it will serve you in good stead at a diner where they’re running a little low on the ceramic variety due to an unprecedented uptick in Asgardian tourist activity.
There’s also something classic New Mexico (I’m feeling very Roswell) about black-suited government agents (oh, Coulson! *dreamy sigh*) swooping down on a town to set up a restricted zone and hide away some sort of artifact. Of course, there’s nothing like a “Do Not Enter/Authorized Personnel Only” sign to attract a certain type of crowd. For the adventurous soul among you, perhaps an eagle eye view of the proceedings from somewhere on high? You might even manage to make the acquaintance of a certain archer who is rumoured to be in town.
After all that excitement, it’s definitely time to grab a drink. The local bar scene is relatively standard fare for rural New Mexico, but there are plenty of pool tables, the beer is cold and plentiful, and they put together a mean boilermaker! Just right for triggering conversation at one, introspection at two, and inebriation at three!
If your looking less for libations, though, and more for a comfortable and interesting spot for some canoodling, we recommend rooftop loungers for open air romance. The appeal of the starry sky over New Mexico cannot be oversold!
Packing Pro-Tip #3: A blanket. While everyone thinks of the desert as incredibly hot, the nights in New Mexico can definitely get nippy! If you’re dallying after dark, a blanket will be your best friend.
Things are bound to get a little more exciting when the cavalry comes to town in search of their friend and former leader. If the God of Thunder won’t come to Asgard, well… Asgard has just the giant destructo-bot to come to New Mexico in search of him. And a god without his power is just a mortal. It’s a good thing that, in addition to the friendly faces, starry skies, and starkly beautiful landscapes, New Mexico has a lot to offer in terms of life lessons, as well. Learning that coffee is best served with a healthy dose of humility, compassion, and self sacrifice, is a surefire path to worthiness in the eyes of Mjolnir (aka Meow Meow) and Odin.
Once you’ve soaked in the sights and sounds of New Mexico and are ready to move on to the next adventure, give a knowing nod to Heimdal – he’s always watching – and ask him to activate the Rainbow Bridge on your behalf. There are ten realms to explore at last count, and we know how you love to travel! Should there be any issue with the Bridge, however, remember… the Last Door on the Left is always open for you.
