Welcome one and all to the Last Door on the Left – a travel agency for the adventurous soul. Have you always wanted to see the world beyond the wardrobe? Longed to wait for the train at 9 ¾? Pined for tickets to hear Plava Laguna sing at Phloston Paradise? Look no further.
Many happy greetings and salutations to you, my fellow plucky and intrepid adventurers. It has been an age since we, here at the Last Door on the Left, have taken you on a guided tour of one of our many lauded locations; and for this, I apologize. Alas, a very real potential consequence of our daring and undaunted ways is the occasional critical injury. But hey… what’s a moderate head trauma between friends, right? Moving right along, then (slowly, though. Forgive my slightly shuffling pace…), I’d like to take roll call at Gotham Academy.
For so many, the dawning of a new school year means back to school shopping (uniforms or civvies, new duds of one kind or another are a must!), fresh notebooks (laptops?), pens, and pencil crayons, and a return to the routine of the scholastic syllabus. For the students at Gotham Academy – and you, the patient patrons of the Last Door on the Left – things are just a little bit more… interesting.
Packing Pro-Tip #1: Rope, and an extra grappling hook. It may be Gotham Academy, but it’s still Gotham and there are probably going to be bats in the belfry, if you know what I mean. There will DEFINITELY be students up there, and probably during Bruce Wayne’s keynote remarks. We recommend getting up to date certification.
An old stone edifice, where every brick and bit of masonry has a story to tell for anyone with keen senses and the wit to pay attention, Gotham Academy is an academic institution unlike any other. It is often said that history is written only by the winners, but in Gotham the line between success and failure, winning and losing, hero and patient at Arkham Asylum, has always been a thin – and often obscured – one. As a result, History class at Gotham Academy teaches some interesting perspectives.
Savvy Traveller Side Note #1: As my good friend Deckard Cain would say, “Stay awhile and listen” in on History class – Module 1: Architecture and the Arkhams. You never know when the information might come in handy. The Arkhams were responsible for all sorts of buildings in the area, and esoteric intelligence about the occasional secret passage might just save your life. And remember, kids: stay in school! Knowledge is power.
One thing Gotham Academy does share with other institutions and historical buildings of similar ilk, is that it doesn’t lack for ghosts. Whether it be the restless shade of Millie Jane Cobblepott, the alien eyes of a strangely familiar monster-student hybrid, or the nervous knocking of a criminally insane Arkham Asylum escapee taking refuge within the walls, the haunting of the student body is just one more way Gotham Academy provides its pupils with a truly extraordinary educational experience.
Savvy Traveller Side Note #2: When in doubt, check the cemetery. In the event of the inevitable mystery, a great place to start your hunt for answers is in the graveyard. Chances are excellent that, in addition to a good headstone rubbing, you’re likely to find a secret society, a mysterious tomb, or at least a satisfying ritual to interrupt. Worst case scenario, there might be looting. Why is there a potter’s field at a school, you might ask? It’s Gotham.
Packing Pro-Tip #2: Surveillance kit. Nothing says ‘Savvy Traveller’ like stylish stakeout supplies, complete with background intel, a stealthy change of clothes, and don’t forget the snacks! Also, no undercover operation is complete without lock picks and binoculars! (Night vision is optional, but seriously consider it. Gotham is best viewed after dark.)
No tour of Gotham Academy is complete without mentioning the North Hall. Sealed and off-limits due to its status as being structurally unsound and generally unsavoury, the North Hall is naturally a significant attraction for the more adventurous among the student body. Watch your step, though. The floor isn’t exactly contiguous and the holes you find there? Think less Alice Down the Rabbit Hole and more Croc the Escaped Psycho Criminal. He’s really quite lovely once you get to know him, but he IS quite skittish at first.
Regardless of who and what you find at Gotham Academy, it’s guaranteed to be a first-rate scholastic experience, and one we can’t wait to share with you, our audacious and intrepid wayfarers. Every hero – and anti-hero, super-villain, and sidekick, for that matter – needs an auspicious start and a solid background in the basics as only Gotham can provide.