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Welcome one and all to the Last Door on the Left – a travel agency for the adventurous soul. Have you always wanted to see the world beyond the wardrobe? Longed to wait for the train at 9 ¾? Pined for tickets to hear Plava Laguna sing at Phloston Paradise? Look no further.

Guide to the Universe

Welcome, my fellow existential excursionists, to another wild and wonderful wander through the Last Door on the Left – your first, foremost, one and only interdimensional travel agency. Today’s peregrinations find us exploring the pop music scene in London, England; delving into questions of divinity, immortality, fate versus fatalism, and the ever entangled concepts of The Wicked and The Divine.

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Are some souls just born to burn just a little bit brighter? Are the brightest-blazing destined to flame out first? The Recurrence of the Pantheon would certainly suggest so. The only way to find out for sure is to have front row seats to the best shows in town! Fortunately for loyal patrons of the Last Door on the Left, we have all the backstage passes and after-party invites anyone with God-hood on the brain could possibly want.

Packing Pro-Tip #1: Smelling salts. A common side effect of too much direct attention from a performing member of the pantheon is fainting. Even if you manage not to succumb directly, it’s VERY likely to happen to anyone (read: everyone) around you. Something ammonia-based will work like a charm to revive the, well, charmed.

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Whether your musical tastes run more to giant, light-filled club shows with Amaterasu, or Baal’s warehouse style, or maybe you’re into the underground scene with The Morrigan – which is literally underground, we recommend downloading a map of the London tube system – you’re sure to find a member of the pantheon whose spark of the divine speaks to you.

Savvy Traveller Side Note #1: If you manage to catch the eye and/or whim of a God, play it cool. Just because their raison d’etre is to inspire and make life worth living, one magical moment at a time, doesn’t mean they want to be “on” every second of every day. Even Gods want to have the occasional interpersonal interaction without the fact of their reincarnated deification rearing its transcendental head.

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Things can get a little… exciting… when you’re hanging around the immortal set. They do tend to inspire the emotional extremes in some of their more fanatical followers. These impassioned outbursts can sometimes be expressed violently and with bullets. And while the general rule in the pantheon is that “miracles” are only performed against each other, and NOT against the helpless, hapless human-folk, mistakes do happen. Best to be out of the way for these exchanges.

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Savvy Traveller Side Note #2: If you’re visiting a God-friend in a South London jail, bring appropriate gifts, even contraband. We, here at the Last Door on the Left cannot condone illegal drugs (even if Lucifer herself is asking for cocaine), but showing up with a pack of cigarettes will probably get you on her good side, and that’s no bad thing. Especially since one click of her fingers and heads explode. I’m just sayin’.

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Savvy Traveller Side Note #3: Don’t be afraid to stand out in the crowd. Reincarnated deities appreciate strength, backbone, and if we’re all honest, a little drama. Nothing in this world is for free, and all the power, divinity, glory and glam of god-hood comes with it’s own price to pay: a two-year life span in which to enjoy it. Just because you’re immortal, doesn’t actually mean you get to live forever. So catch their eyes, distracting and attracting in turns, you might just get a favour out of it. And the favour of a God – even one with an expiry date – is no bad thing.

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The 90 year cycle of The Recurrence makes each and every God-show a must-see, once in a lifetime event in the social calendar. Love them or hate them, in 2 years they’ll be dead, having inspired a new generation of youth with music, rebellion, and the sharp relief of the age old question of destiny: are we fated to be who we are? Or do our choices shape our fate?

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Packing Pro-Tip #2: Stain remover. Blood is really difficult to get out of clothing if you let it set. Probably best to stick to dark clothes, too. Just in case.

Safe travels on your way, friends and fellow wayfarers! Until we – as we do and always will – return to this.

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