ColumnsCultureFeaturedNerd Girl's Guide to the Universe

Cave of Wonders – A Nerd Girl’s Guide to the Universe

Welcome one and all to the Last Door on the Left – a travel agency for the adventurous soul. Have you always wanted to see the world beyond the wardrobe? Longed to wait for the train at 9 ¾? Pined for tickets to hear Plava Laguna sing at Phloston Paradise? Look no further.

Guide to the Universe

Well hello there, my fellow gallivanters, and welcome to the Last Door on the Left; the travel agency designed for the adventurous soul.  This week’s excitement takes place in a location that – at first glance – might seem a little rough around the edges. But look deeper. It has hidden qualities for those who are capable of seeing a diamond in the rough. Today we are trekking deep under the deserts of Agrabah, into the Cave of Wonders!


At first approach, cresting another in a seemingly unending line of monotonous dunes, the entrance to the Cave of Wonders doesn’t immediately stand out.  And then you find yourself speculating as to who might have done what to your water at the last oasis when a giant feline-esque head emerges from the sand to bellow, “WHO DISTURBS MY SLUMBER?”. Not to worry, though. Feel free to introduce yourself. Patrons of the Last Door on the Left have an excellent reputation for being pure of heart, I’m sure you’ll be fine.


Once inside, be sure to take advantage of the (totally inexplicable – that’s okay, just run with it) natural illumination to enjoy your surroundings. A more aptly named locale is difficult to think of than the Cave of Wonders.

Savvy Traveler Side Note #1: Pay close attention to the “Do Not Touch” warnings in the Cave of Wonders. Their version of the “you break it, you bought it” policy is Serious Business.


Packing Pro-Tip #1: Lots of layers. Clothing for all types of weather is key, especially in the desert. Scorching days and chilly nights are one thing, but the depths of the Cave of Wonders are a whole other ball game! Anything from high winds due to open-air magic carpet travel to searingly humid heat as lava infiltrates an underground aquifer. Best to be prepared for anything.


Packing Pro-Tip #2: Polishing cloths. The Cave of Wonders has quite the reputation for unique antiquities. You never know when you might come across something worth shining up for a better look.

It might seem counter-intuitive to carpet a cave – and certainly, not many are – but this IS the Cave of Wonders we’re talking about. Even the phrase “Take only photographs, leave only footprints” doesn’t quite cover this place, as leaving even footprints in a location like this seems gauche.


Packing Pro-Tip #3: Indoor shoes. Not all areas of the Cave of Wonders are carpeted, but the carpets you’ll find are of the magic variety and you’ll want to leave a GOOD impression.


One of the main attractions of the Cave of Wonders – beyond, even, the many-splendored allures of its geomorphic features – is the much sought after entertainment of the elusive Genie of the Lamp.  A rare treat, this gem of a performer can go millennia between sets; talk about a wish come true, to catch a show!


Savvy Traveler Side Note #2: Wish Fulfillment 101:  You can’t wish for a) more wishes b) death c) love d) zombies. You can be a good person and wish for the Genie’s freedom. Remember, the wheel is always turning!

I science all day, and unwind with a solid dose of comic books, video games, superhero movies/TV, and anything with a decent whodunit bent. Been reading the Great Detective since I was wee, and watching Doctor Who since I was in utero. Make of that what…

What's your reaction?

Related Posts

1 of 375